Marital differences over designer bags

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#1
OK, this probably doesn't come under "Personal Finance", but then again it's very amusing and highlights the growing trend for women these days (yes, even reporters like Fiona!) going for "designer bags" costing thousands of dollars! Incidentally, I think Miu Miu should cost about $4,000 (though it was not mentioned in the article); and who in the right mind would spend so much on a bag? Remember the median salary in Singapore is just about S$2,700.....

Oct 24, 2010
Marital differences over designer bags

By Fiona Chan

In every relationship, there comes that one defining moment when you discover exactly how little you know about your partner.

For me, that turning point arrived last week when my husband and I made two simultaneous earth-shattering discoveries.

I realised to my horror that my husband disapproves of $2,000 designer handbags and my husband realised to his horror that I love $2,000 designer handbags.

Needless to say, this was a major ideological rift. It was as if Mr Potato Head came home one day to find Mrs Potato Head eating french fries.

After we got over the shock, both of us tried hard to convince the other to be more open-minded.

'These handbags are expensive because they're made of high-quality leather and will last a long time,' I said, all reasonable and pragmatic. 'If you think about it, it's actually a very good investment.'

'What kind of high-quality leather costs $2,000?' was my husband's response. 'Was it an endangered cow? And if so, why are you killing it?'

So I tried another tack. 'Anyway this is money that I earned myself, so I should get to spend it on what I want, right?'

No such luck. 'Now we're married, so your money is my money,' he said. 'My money is also your money, but not to buy bags.'

'You don't understand,' I said. 'One designer bag can make your entire outfit look expensive, even if it's from This Fashion.'

'But you're a journalist,' replied my relentless husband. 'No one's going to believe that you're rich anyway.'

It was an impasse. Then he said something really unforgivable.

'Why don't you just buy a fake one?' he suggested, happy to have found a compromise. 'Like, a really good fake one. No one will know the difference.'

I just stared at him until he slunk away.

The next day, I told my friends and colleagues about our fight. Naturally, they were all on my side.

'You're an economist,' said one of my colleagues, applying a very broad definition to my job scope as a business reporter. 'Can't you just do a cost-benefit analysis and convince him?'

That would certainly be easy enough. Cost: $2,000. Benefit: Happiness, which surely is priceless.

But it would require more than that to persuade my husband, who unfortunately is a lawyer. Within hours, he had assembled an array of indestructible arguments to condemn designer handbags to a lifetime sentence of being left on the shelf.

First, he said, it doesn't cost $2,000 to make a designer handbag, so there's no reason anyone should pay $2,000 for it.

Second, there are plenty of perfectly good handbags out there going for $50, so why should I buy one that costs 40 times as much?

At this point I should probably explain that until recently, my husband - bless his simple G2000-wearing heart - innocently believed that all my bags cost about $50 each. That pretty Miu Miu one, maybe $100.

Adorable as this was, I had to set him straight. So I sat him down and let the cat out of the bag about how much my accessories cost.

He was horrified. And so he went for the jugular in his third argument: With so many people starving in the world, could I really bring myself to spend $2,000 on another bag?

I hate it when people say this. It's completely irrelevant, and yet there's no way you can argue without sounding like some spoilt developed-country brat.

But my husband was far from done. Women buy expensive bags, he said, just so they can show off that they have a status symbol.

If Prada one day slashed the prices of all its bags to $1, women would immediately lose interest.

What makes it worse, he said, is that women don't even want a unique and exclusive status symbol.

They want a bag that enough other people are carrying as well - so it can be easily recognised for the thousands of dollars it cost. That's just dumb, he said.

I had to admit that was true. And that there is really no compelling reason to buy such a pricey bag, except an inexplicable conviction that you deserve it and it will make you happy.

At least, until you see another bag you like better and must have as well.

Still, how often can you buy happiness, even if just for a short time? To me, that makes even the most expensive bag worth every cent.

After all, if you do the maths, the 'cost per wear' of a designer bag actually works out to a very reasonable price.

As my editor rightly pointed out, a $2,000 bag that is carried every day for six months only costs about $11 a day - less than a cocktail, a paperback, or even one of my husband's treasured Transformer toys.

Eventually my husband and I did reach some sort of compromise. I wouldn't buy the bag, I told him, if he sent $2,000 in cash to starving people in Africa.

I got the bag.

fiochan@sph.com.sg


My Value Investing Blog: http://sgmusicwhiz.blogspot.com/
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#2
nice article there lol.
Dividend Investing and More @ InvestmentMoats.com
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#3
If the wife is not frugal enough for the husband's liking or has expensive taste, then it is better for the couple to keep separate bank accounts. In this way, each can spend as he/she likes without answering to the other. The writer has the right to spend her money as she likes it.

Personal finance books and financial advisers seldom discuss how important the role of the spouse plays in the attainment of wealth.

I would go so far as to say the selection of a wife is the single most important life decision one can make for his happiness, wealth preservation/creation and even career development.

The Woman's Charter has tremendously raised the cost of the wrong choice. Perhaps forummers who are bachelors should think and strive hard on this aspect besides spending time on their investments. Wife selection is by far more important than stock selection.
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Trust yourself only with your money
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#4
(24-10-2010, 09:03 AM)hyom Wrote: If the wife is not frugal enough for the husband's liking or has expensive taste, then it is better for the couple to keep separate bank accounts. In this way, each can spend as he/she likes without answering to the other. The writer has the right to spend her money as she likes it.

Personal finance books and financial advisers seldom discuss how important the role of the spouse plays in the attainment of wealth.

I would go so far as to say the selection of a wife is the single most important life decision one can make for his happiness, wealth preservation/creation and even career development.

The Woman's Charter has tremendously raised the cost of the wrong choice. Perhaps forummers who are bachelors should think and strive hard on this aspect besides spending time on their investments. Wife selection is by far more important than stock selection.

AGREED !!!

Tk god, my current GF and wife-to-be does not have such expensive taste... even though she likes shopping (She buys on bargain only)..
Big GrinBig GrinBig GrinBig GrinBig Grin


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#5
(24-10-2010, 09:03 AM)hyom Wrote: Personal finance books and financial advisers seldom discuss how important the role of the spouse plays in the attainment of wealth.

I would go so far as to say the selection of a wife is the single most important life decision one can make for his happiness, wealth preservation/creation and even career development.

Some of the more recent personal finance tomes I've come across do mention the importance of the spouse in wealth-building, including (but not limited to) sharing common beliefs about money, spending and investing; and also about risk-taking and managing things like bill payments etc. There are also books written in the USA which focus on how couples should manage their money, and they go into great detail to explain about bank accounts etc but it's more from a USA perspective so stuff like 401(k) is not relevant to us.

The spouse is, in fact, a very important aspect of wealth building. Marry the wrong person, and if that person is a profligate spender, you can forget about becoming rich in this lifetime (unless you inherit wealth or strike lottery). In order for a couple to build wealth successfully, BOTH have to be frugal, disciplined and learn how to save and invest.
My Value Investing Blog: http://sgmusicwhiz.blogspot.com/
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#6
I can only say, "Poor Guy."
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#7
"Eventually my husband and I did reach some sort of compromise. I wouldn't buy the bag, I told him, if he sent $2,000 in cash to starving people in Africa.

I got the bag."

So it seems from the article, that they felt that buying the bag is more valuable /worth it then sending 2,000 cash for people starving in Africa.

Didn't anyone think that? or am I the only one?
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#8
(26-10-2010, 04:25 PM)flinger Wrote: "Eventually my husband and I did reach some sort of compromise. I wouldn't buy the bag, I told him, if he sent $2,000 in cash to starving people in Africa.

I got the bag."

So it seems from the article, that they felt that buying the bag is more valuable /worth it then sending 2,000 cash for people starving in Africa.

Didn't anyone think that? or am I the only one?

First, the wife doesn't care about the starving people in Africa, it's only the husband.

Therefore, it's likely that the husband thinks his wife's happiness is more important that starving people in Africa. So the question is why is this so?

A) Husband stands to reap benefits from Wife's happiness?

B) Displeasure of wife (from not being able to buy bag) is less removed, geographically, than Pleasure of starving Africans resulting in a greater feedback to husband.

C) Cost of sending 2000 bucks to Africa is slightly more (due to Transaction charges) than spending 2000 bucks on a bag. Husband is utalitarian and counts all units of happiness as equal. 2000 plus change does not exceed marginal cost of an extra unit of happiness.

D) Others and/or any combination of the above. Big Grin
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