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04-09-2011, 09:10 AM
I tend to think of this trend as being very unhealthy! The whole family is on gadgets instead of talking to one another! Observe the portion in BOLD.
The Straits Times
Sep 4, 2011
Wired families
The use of electronic gadgets during family time is becoming common as Singapore gets more wired
By Melissa Sim
It is the weekend and in Mr Effendy Ibrahim's family, that means the children get one to two hours to play games on their favourite gadgets.
Four-year-old Fatih Hamdani plays Angry Birds on his mother's iPhone. His two brothers - Amirul Haziq, 10, and Adib Rifa'i, nine - are engaged in a virtual Pokemon battle on the Nintendo DS.
Eldest brother Naufal Zahin, 11, grabs his father's iPod and loads up Gravity Guy, in which he plays the main character being pursued by the Gravity Troops.
Meanwhile, mum and dad are also technologically engaged: Housewife Suliha Yusoff, 38, the expert in shooting virtual hoops, has a Galaxy Tab on her lap, while Mr Effendy, who is the consumer business head for Asia at technology company Symantec, checks his e-mail on his Blackberry.
Snap a photograph of this and call it the modern family portrait and you would not be far from the truth.
These days, it is common for families to spend time at home, in one another's company, but engaged in their own virtual realities. This does not mean that is all they do together as a family, but it is a new version of what people have always called family time.
An easy place to spot these wired families is in restaurants, where everyone - parents included - are glued to their gadgets instead of talking to one another.
The young children would be playing games on their iPads, the father would be checking e-mail messages on his Blackberry and the mother would be taking pictures of the food with her iPhone.
Wireless Internet, coupled with the proliferation of hardware from tablets to smartphones and content - from movies to games to books - have made it painless for people to get hooked up anytime, anywhere.
Surveys by the Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore show that last year, 84 per cent of resident households had access to at least one computer - be it a desktop, laptop or notebook - at home. More than half, or 52 per cent, had two or more computers, up from 38 per cent just five years ago.
And this does not include mobile phones and other gadgets which also provide access to games and social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter.
In a Digital Consumer Report carried out by market research group Nielson, nearly one in four, out of slightly more than 1,000 surveyed, said they had a tablet computer in the household.
The survey, which was conducted in Singapore in June and July this year, also showed that 70 per cent of those surveyed used smartphones.
Like the introduction of television in the 1960s, concerns have been raised about the impact of wired devices on family interaction.
Psychiatrist Adrian Wang says that once or twice a month, he receives complaints from parents who say electronic gadgets are distracting their children and that the children do not know how to communicate any more. These parents usually have children between the ages of eight and 18.
Counsellor Tammy Fontana from All In The Family Counselling says children also complain that parents are really never 'present'. Even if they are reading or studying in each other's company, parents are constantly on the phone texting or checking e-mail messages.
She says: 'Kids are very aware of this and the message that is communicated from the parent to the child is 'you are not that important'.'
Although attachment to one's electronic gadgets may drive a wedge between family members, counsellors and psychiatrists who spoke to LifeStyle believe technology could, as easily, be used to bring families together, as long as the usage is well managed.
It should be pointed out that in the days when one family shares one television set, its members would fight over the remote control and the programme to watch.
In contrast, mobile electronic gadgets let family members pursue their interests while being in the same room, from watching the latest episode of Glee to shopping online to chatting with friends via Facebook.
While it is tempting to demonise mobile electronic gadgets for trapping family members in their own virtual worlds, the reality is less straightforward.
Often, there is a 'spillover' effect. For example, Dr Wang says families can get together to play Wii or share YouTube videos.
The father of a nine-year-old son says he still 'gets a kick out of it' when his son wants to share a video he enjoyed.
He adds that spending time this way is fine, as long as it is not at the expense of other forms of family time. 'You still have to go to the bird park,' he says matter- of-factly.
Single mum Jasmine Elisa Chng, 30, a public relations consultant who lived in Boston and returned to Singapore three months ago, would post videos of her daughter Mariko on a YouTube channel for her extended family to keep in touch with the two-year-old's development.
Ms Chng's mother, accountant Sally Low, 59, would check the channel every morning for new videos.
Now that Madam Low, Ms Chng and Mariko live together in Singapore, there is less need to post videos online. Instead, they gather to watch Mariko's old YouTube videos or search for Japanese videos online, which Mariko - who is half-Japanese - enjoys.
'Instead of just watching TV, we are doing something interactive,' says Ms Chng.
Similarly, Mr Effendy's family may seem to be occupied in their own virtual worlds, but often, the children will show one another how to get bonus points in their various games, or the family will gather together around a computer to buy books or shoes online.
It may not be a traditional way of spending family time but it is hardly dysfunctional. Best of all, it is not 'forced' family time where daddy dictates to the family how they should spend their free time.
Technology has also made communication easier in the Oh family. The family of nine live in a two- storey bungalow in the Holland area and while at home, often send messages to one another through messaging application Whatsapp.
Ms Alessandra Oh, 26, a post-graduate student, says her family will use the application to locate people in the house or arrange a time to gather.
'Our texts usually say, 'where are you?', 'let's watch a movie downstairs' or 'let's go out and grab ice cream',' she says.
When it comes to gadgets and technology, Dr Daniel Fung, senior consultant of child and adolescent psychiatry at the Institute of Mental Heath, has this piece of advice: 'If you can't beat them, join them.'
Last year's Norton Online Family Report showed that on average, Singaporean children have 76 online friends - a higher average than their peers globally who have, on average, 56 online friends. A total of 101 Singaporean children aged 10 to 17 were surveyed.
Dr Fung says parents used to ask children to bring their friends home, but now 'if your kids and their friends are on Facebook, get on it and see what's happening and see the interaction'. 'If they are on Twitter, follow their tweets,' he adds.
But if husbands and wives or parents and children are discovering a lack of communication, perhaps it is time to hit that power-off button.
The key to managing technology, says Ms Fontana, is 'turning off gadgets as they distract people from the substance of your life'.
Often in counselling, she tells couples or families to turn off the TV or Facebook for a week and see what happens.
She says: 'It's amazing how much families reconnect and learn about one another without the TV or other gadgets. As with everything, moderation is key.'
suntimes@sph.com.sg
Does your family have rules governing the use of mobile electronic gadgets? Write to suntimes@sph.com.sg
The Straits Times
Sep 4, 2011
Wired families
The use of electronic gadgets during family time is becoming common as Singapore gets more wired
By Melissa Sim
It is the weekend and in Mr Effendy Ibrahim's family, that means the children get one to two hours to play games on their favourite gadgets.
Four-year-old Fatih Hamdani plays Angry Birds on his mother's iPhone. His two brothers - Amirul Haziq, 10, and Adib Rifa'i, nine - are engaged in a virtual Pokemon battle on the Nintendo DS.
Eldest brother Naufal Zahin, 11, grabs his father's iPod and loads up Gravity Guy, in which he plays the main character being pursued by the Gravity Troops.
Meanwhile, mum and dad are also technologically engaged: Housewife Suliha Yusoff, 38, the expert in shooting virtual hoops, has a Galaxy Tab on her lap, while Mr Effendy, who is the consumer business head for Asia at technology company Symantec, checks his e-mail on his Blackberry.
Snap a photograph of this and call it the modern family portrait and you would not be far from the truth.
These days, it is common for families to spend time at home, in one another's company, but engaged in their own virtual realities. This does not mean that is all they do together as a family, but it is a new version of what people have always called family time.
An easy place to spot these wired families is in restaurants, where everyone - parents included - are glued to their gadgets instead of talking to one another.
The young children would be playing games on their iPads, the father would be checking e-mail messages on his Blackberry and the mother would be taking pictures of the food with her iPhone.
Wireless Internet, coupled with the proliferation of hardware from tablets to smartphones and content - from movies to games to books - have made it painless for people to get hooked up anytime, anywhere.
Surveys by the Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore show that last year, 84 per cent of resident households had access to at least one computer - be it a desktop, laptop or notebook - at home. More than half, or 52 per cent, had two or more computers, up from 38 per cent just five years ago.
And this does not include mobile phones and other gadgets which also provide access to games and social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter.
In a Digital Consumer Report carried out by market research group Nielson, nearly one in four, out of slightly more than 1,000 surveyed, said they had a tablet computer in the household.
The survey, which was conducted in Singapore in June and July this year, also showed that 70 per cent of those surveyed used smartphones.
Like the introduction of television in the 1960s, concerns have been raised about the impact of wired devices on family interaction.
Psychiatrist Adrian Wang says that once or twice a month, he receives complaints from parents who say electronic gadgets are distracting their children and that the children do not know how to communicate any more. These parents usually have children between the ages of eight and 18.
Counsellor Tammy Fontana from All In The Family Counselling says children also complain that parents are really never 'present'. Even if they are reading or studying in each other's company, parents are constantly on the phone texting or checking e-mail messages.
She says: 'Kids are very aware of this and the message that is communicated from the parent to the child is 'you are not that important'.'
Although attachment to one's electronic gadgets may drive a wedge between family members, counsellors and psychiatrists who spoke to LifeStyle believe technology could, as easily, be used to bring families together, as long as the usage is well managed.
It should be pointed out that in the days when one family shares one television set, its members would fight over the remote control and the programme to watch.
In contrast, mobile electronic gadgets let family members pursue their interests while being in the same room, from watching the latest episode of Glee to shopping online to chatting with friends via Facebook.
While it is tempting to demonise mobile electronic gadgets for trapping family members in their own virtual worlds, the reality is less straightforward.
Often, there is a 'spillover' effect. For example, Dr Wang says families can get together to play Wii or share YouTube videos.
The father of a nine-year-old son says he still 'gets a kick out of it' when his son wants to share a video he enjoyed.
He adds that spending time this way is fine, as long as it is not at the expense of other forms of family time. 'You still have to go to the bird park,' he says matter- of-factly.
Single mum Jasmine Elisa Chng, 30, a public relations consultant who lived in Boston and returned to Singapore three months ago, would post videos of her daughter Mariko on a YouTube channel for her extended family to keep in touch with the two-year-old's development.
Ms Chng's mother, accountant Sally Low, 59, would check the channel every morning for new videos.
Now that Madam Low, Ms Chng and Mariko live together in Singapore, there is less need to post videos online. Instead, they gather to watch Mariko's old YouTube videos or search for Japanese videos online, which Mariko - who is half-Japanese - enjoys.
'Instead of just watching TV, we are doing something interactive,' says Ms Chng.
Similarly, Mr Effendy's family may seem to be occupied in their own virtual worlds, but often, the children will show one another how to get bonus points in their various games, or the family will gather together around a computer to buy books or shoes online.
It may not be a traditional way of spending family time but it is hardly dysfunctional. Best of all, it is not 'forced' family time where daddy dictates to the family how they should spend their free time.
Technology has also made communication easier in the Oh family. The family of nine live in a two- storey bungalow in the Holland area and while at home, often send messages to one another through messaging application Whatsapp.
Ms Alessandra Oh, 26, a post-graduate student, says her family will use the application to locate people in the house or arrange a time to gather.
'Our texts usually say, 'where are you?', 'let's watch a movie downstairs' or 'let's go out and grab ice cream',' she says.
When it comes to gadgets and technology, Dr Daniel Fung, senior consultant of child and adolescent psychiatry at the Institute of Mental Heath, has this piece of advice: 'If you can't beat them, join them.'
Last year's Norton Online Family Report showed that on average, Singaporean children have 76 online friends - a higher average than their peers globally who have, on average, 56 online friends. A total of 101 Singaporean children aged 10 to 17 were surveyed.
Dr Fung says parents used to ask children to bring their friends home, but now 'if your kids and their friends are on Facebook, get on it and see what's happening and see the interaction'. 'If they are on Twitter, follow their tweets,' he adds.
But if husbands and wives or parents and children are discovering a lack of communication, perhaps it is time to hit that power-off button.
The key to managing technology, says Ms Fontana, is 'turning off gadgets as they distract people from the substance of your life'.
Often in counselling, she tells couples or families to turn off the TV or Facebook for a week and see what happens.
She says: 'It's amazing how much families reconnect and learn about one another without the TV or other gadgets. As with everything, moderation is key.'
suntimes@sph.com.sg
Does your family have rules governing the use of mobile electronic gadgets? Write to suntimes@sph.com.sg
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