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20-11-2011, 08:21 AM
I think what these couples don't realize is that the "real" marriage starts after that big proposal, or the big wedding dinner! That's when you literally live with each other for the rest of your life and have to get used to all the bad habits/practices! Another version of "Keeping Up With The Joneses"!
The Straits Times
Nov 20, 2011
Grand proposals
Higher expectations and peer pressure have led to marriage proposals becoming more flamboyant
By Melissa Kok
On Valentine's Day this year, teacher Daryl Sung, with the help of his friends, executed an elaborate proposal to his girlfriend of five years.
Inspired by their love for movies, the 30-year-old created a music video to be screened at an outdoor drive-in movie night organised by MovieMob and held at the field beside Liang Court shopping mall.
With 900 people gathered to watch the movie as witnesses, he declared his love.
He said in the video: 'I've been waiting five years, 10 months, 13 days and 19 hours, 50 minutes and 20 seconds for this very special moment.' His friends then held up cardboard signs that spelt the words, 'Will U Marry Me?'
His surprised girlfriend Melissa Goh, 28, who was sitting in his car, stammered: 'Can I consider?'
It was not the answer Mr Sung expected but she later rescued an otherwise potentially awkward moment with her reply - 'I've considered for five years, actually' - and sounded the car horn thrice to signal yes.
Mr Sung took about three weeks to plan his proposal, which cost him less than $100 as his friends had helped him make the music video for free.
He had not realised that Miss Goh was not fond of public proposals but said: 'In the end, it was a pleasant one for her... but if she had a choice, she wouldn't want it.'
Over-the-top proposals are not for everyone. Lately, however, more people are pulling out all the stops to coax their partners into saying 'okay' about saying 'I do'.
To show their love and sincerity, many are popping the big question in the most creative and ostentatious ways possible.
Guys have been known to book entire cinema theatres, serenade their girlfriends in restaurants and 'hijack' public events with hundreds of people to propose.
Civil servant Chris Lim, 26, proposed to Linda Lim, 23, in front of thousands of people at The New Paper Big Walk@Resorts World Sentosa recently.
After the 4km walk, Miss Lim was called to a stage by the event's emcees and was surprised by Mr Lim, who proposed on bended knee with a bouquet of 26 roses - the number signifying their first date on Jan 26, 2009.
He admitted that his girlfriend, who works as an administrator, is not the type who likes grand proposals and that he initially had a much simpler plan in mind. But he felt that if he showed his sincerity, it would be okay.
He said: 'I thought that the Big Walk is like our journey together. It's meaningful.
'If it's simple, there is no element of surprise. Proposals should be once in a lifetime, same as a wedding - you should make it more special.'
He said his fiancee was shocked at first because she thought she had won a prize but 'she loved it in the end'.
Some couples and dating experts told LifeStyle the trend is because expectations are higher these days and that there is a sense of competition among people to outdo their peers.
Dating expert Violet Lim, who founded dating agency Lunch Actually, said many women have expectations of grand proposals due to peer pressure and comparison among friends, and also because of a desire to be swept off their feet, like in a fairy tale.
'They see their friends getting such proposals and feel that they will 'lose face' if they do not receive these types of proposals as well,' she said.
'Friends will always ask, 'How did he propose?'. If the answer is, 'Do you want to get a flat together?', the girl is going to have a tough time sharing it with her friends.'
She said such women place emphasis on the proposal because they may not understand or may forget that the wedding is just the beginning of a marriage. 'Many see it as the destination or end goal of a relationship. As a result, a lot of emphasis is also placed on the pre-wedding aspect.'
Indeed, Mr Lim joked that his friends had given him flak on his Facebook page for 'setting the benchmark', adding that one of his friends' girlfriend even told him, 'I believe you can do better'.
He even noted that one of his friends had been rejected after he proposed over a romantic dinner. 'The girl said no because it was not grand enough and did not show how sincere he was,' said Mr Lim.
Recently, Mr Kiran Joshi, 31, chief technology officer at All Deals Asia, a website that offers shopping, entertainment and lifestyle deals in South-east Asia, proposed to his girlfriend of four months via a 'priceless deal' posted on the site.
The two-day advertisement touted undying love, where he would live anywhere with his girlfriend and promised to shower her with 'a lifetime of happiness, laughter and sharing of... moments together'.
The deal, which also offered a 'lifetime warranty', garnered rave 'reviews' from online users who vouched for his good qualities and highly recommended him.
The deal - titled 'Lifetime of happiness from our very own All Deals Asia Chief Technology Officer! Say YES, Jen!' - was 'purchased' more than 1,000 times by the time it expired last Saturday.
Mr Joshi spent about a day thinking of how to pop the question. He got a friend to send Jen - who declined to be identified further for this story - a link to the deal before meeting her at a park where they first kissed, to propose. She said yes.
He said: 'She loved it. She thought it was very thoughtful. We were so happy that the excitement made it hard to sleep.'
He noted that these days, there is a 'big build-up around engagements and weddings' which can create unrealistic desires in some women and put pressure on many men.
'The goal should be for both people to be happy, support each other and share life's experiences together. But too many people want 'perfect' or to impress others, and lose sight of what it's really about.'
Not everyone can stomach an over-the- top public display of affection, preferring an intimate low-key proposal instead.
Miss Lee Hanyi, 29, who works in advertising and has been in a relationship for the past 11/2 years, said: 'I don't think I'd like something flashy because I'd be quite embarrassed. The person shouldn't invite his friends along... because there's only one option when everyone else is watching.
'It should just be between two people.'
melk@sph.com.sg
The Straits Times
Nov 20, 2011
Grand proposals
Higher expectations and peer pressure have led to marriage proposals becoming more flamboyant
By Melissa Kok
On Valentine's Day this year, teacher Daryl Sung, with the help of his friends, executed an elaborate proposal to his girlfriend of five years.
Inspired by their love for movies, the 30-year-old created a music video to be screened at an outdoor drive-in movie night organised by MovieMob and held at the field beside Liang Court shopping mall.
With 900 people gathered to watch the movie as witnesses, he declared his love.
He said in the video: 'I've been waiting five years, 10 months, 13 days and 19 hours, 50 minutes and 20 seconds for this very special moment.' His friends then held up cardboard signs that spelt the words, 'Will U Marry Me?'
His surprised girlfriend Melissa Goh, 28, who was sitting in his car, stammered: 'Can I consider?'
It was not the answer Mr Sung expected but she later rescued an otherwise potentially awkward moment with her reply - 'I've considered for five years, actually' - and sounded the car horn thrice to signal yes.
Mr Sung took about three weeks to plan his proposal, which cost him less than $100 as his friends had helped him make the music video for free.
He had not realised that Miss Goh was not fond of public proposals but said: 'In the end, it was a pleasant one for her... but if she had a choice, she wouldn't want it.'
Over-the-top proposals are not for everyone. Lately, however, more people are pulling out all the stops to coax their partners into saying 'okay' about saying 'I do'.
To show their love and sincerity, many are popping the big question in the most creative and ostentatious ways possible.
Guys have been known to book entire cinema theatres, serenade their girlfriends in restaurants and 'hijack' public events with hundreds of people to propose.
Civil servant Chris Lim, 26, proposed to Linda Lim, 23, in front of thousands of people at The New Paper Big Walk@Resorts World Sentosa recently.
After the 4km walk, Miss Lim was called to a stage by the event's emcees and was surprised by Mr Lim, who proposed on bended knee with a bouquet of 26 roses - the number signifying their first date on Jan 26, 2009.
He admitted that his girlfriend, who works as an administrator, is not the type who likes grand proposals and that he initially had a much simpler plan in mind. But he felt that if he showed his sincerity, it would be okay.
He said: 'I thought that the Big Walk is like our journey together. It's meaningful.
'If it's simple, there is no element of surprise. Proposals should be once in a lifetime, same as a wedding - you should make it more special.'
He said his fiancee was shocked at first because she thought she had won a prize but 'she loved it in the end'.
Some couples and dating experts told LifeStyle the trend is because expectations are higher these days and that there is a sense of competition among people to outdo their peers.
Dating expert Violet Lim, who founded dating agency Lunch Actually, said many women have expectations of grand proposals due to peer pressure and comparison among friends, and also because of a desire to be swept off their feet, like in a fairy tale.
'They see their friends getting such proposals and feel that they will 'lose face' if they do not receive these types of proposals as well,' she said.
'Friends will always ask, 'How did he propose?'. If the answer is, 'Do you want to get a flat together?', the girl is going to have a tough time sharing it with her friends.'
She said such women place emphasis on the proposal because they may not understand or may forget that the wedding is just the beginning of a marriage. 'Many see it as the destination or end goal of a relationship. As a result, a lot of emphasis is also placed on the pre-wedding aspect.'
Indeed, Mr Lim joked that his friends had given him flak on his Facebook page for 'setting the benchmark', adding that one of his friends' girlfriend even told him, 'I believe you can do better'.
He even noted that one of his friends had been rejected after he proposed over a romantic dinner. 'The girl said no because it was not grand enough and did not show how sincere he was,' said Mr Lim.
Recently, Mr Kiran Joshi, 31, chief technology officer at All Deals Asia, a website that offers shopping, entertainment and lifestyle deals in South-east Asia, proposed to his girlfriend of four months via a 'priceless deal' posted on the site.
The two-day advertisement touted undying love, where he would live anywhere with his girlfriend and promised to shower her with 'a lifetime of happiness, laughter and sharing of... moments together'.
The deal, which also offered a 'lifetime warranty', garnered rave 'reviews' from online users who vouched for his good qualities and highly recommended him.
The deal - titled 'Lifetime of happiness from our very own All Deals Asia Chief Technology Officer! Say YES, Jen!' - was 'purchased' more than 1,000 times by the time it expired last Saturday.
Mr Joshi spent about a day thinking of how to pop the question. He got a friend to send Jen - who declined to be identified further for this story - a link to the deal before meeting her at a park where they first kissed, to propose. She said yes.
He said: 'She loved it. She thought it was very thoughtful. We were so happy that the excitement made it hard to sleep.'
He noted that these days, there is a 'big build-up around engagements and weddings' which can create unrealistic desires in some women and put pressure on many men.
'The goal should be for both people to be happy, support each other and share life's experiences together. But too many people want 'perfect' or to impress others, and lose sight of what it's really about.'
Not everyone can stomach an over-the- top public display of affection, preferring an intimate low-key proposal instead.
Miss Lee Hanyi, 29, who works in advertising and has been in a relationship for the past 11/2 years, said: 'I don't think I'd like something flashy because I'd be quite embarrassed. The person shouldn't invite his friends along... because there's only one option when everyone else is watching.
'It should just be between two people.'
melk@sph.com.sg
My Value Investing Blog: http://sgmusicwhiz.blogspot.com/
