'Now I know who my real friends are'

(28-05-2012, 11:36 AM)corydorus Wrote: Maybe I should play a trick and fake hit S$1M prize and use it to weed out "friends".

Why not do the reverse and pretend to declare bankrupt instead? That is a much more effective way in weeding out the fake friends.

See who is willing to leng you money and provide shelter for you if you are penniless and have no assets.

(29-05-2012, 12:48 PM)Behappyalways Wrote: then you not only lose your 'friends', you lose also your wife and your family will 'spit' at you ^^

(29-05-2012, 12:25 PM)propertyinvestor Wrote:

(28-05-2012, 11:36 AM)corydorus Wrote: Maybe I should play a trick and fake hit S$1M prize and use it to weed out "friends".

Why not do the reverse and pretend to declare bankrupt instead? That is a much more effective way in weeding out the fake friends.

See who is willing to leng you money and provide shelter for you if you are penniless and have no assets.

that is the ULTIMATE TEST. And those who stick by you will be your friends and kin FOR LIFE.

(29-05-2012, 01:12 PM)propertyinvestor Wrote:

(29-05-2012, 12:48 PM)Behappyalways Wrote: then you not only lose your 'friends', you lose also your wife and your family will 'spit' at you ^^

(29-05-2012, 12:25 PM)propertyinvestor Wrote:

(28-05-2012, 11:36 AM)corydorus Wrote: Maybe I should play a trick and fake hit S$1M prize and use it to weed out "friends".

Why not do the reverse and pretend to declare bankrupt instead? That is a much more effective way in weeding out the fake friends.

See who is willing to leng you money and provide shelter for you if you are penniless and have no assets.

that is the ULTIMATE TEST. And those who stick by you will be your friends and kin FOR LIFE.

i am a "romantic die hard". i believe there are such couple that's why there is such saying: "One night husband & wife, 100 days obligation/debt/favour/"
i think my translation of Chinese saying is not so accurate but my English is limited.

So what's the point of the Ultimate test?

What about ourselves? If you know you can be true no matter what happens is more than enough. You will live your life with a clear conscience. And you have made your choice of soul partner. You should have faith in your decision. Don't insult yourself and your soul partner by testing your decision again.
As for relatives, you will only know who are believers of "Blood is Thicker than Water when you are in deep Sh**. If you purposely test them pretending to be in deep Sh** then those who are true believers of "Blood is Thicker than Water" may take you as a frivolous person from now and into the future.
This reminds me about story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". Don't try it. You will ended like this boy.

(29-05-2012, 01:12 PM)propertyinvestor Wrote:

(29-05-2012, 12:48 PM)Behappyalways Wrote: then you not only lose your 'friends', you lose also your wife and your family will 'spit' at you ^^

(29-05-2012, 12:25 PM)propertyinvestor Wrote:

(28-05-2012, 11:36 AM)corydorus Wrote: Maybe I should play a trick and fake hit S$1M prize and use it to weed out "friends".

Why not do the reverse and pretend to declare bankrupt instead? That is a much more effective way in weeding out the fake friends.

See who is willing to leng you money and provide shelter for you if you are penniless and have no assets.

that is the ULTIMATE TEST. And those who stick by you will be your friends and kin FOR LIFE.

Losing my job during the recession triggered by AFC, 911, SARS,... was a very life enriching experience...

There was the initial flurry of contacts by friends and families to meet up as they showed what I thought was concern but many were in fact mostly keen to know whether I have some lobangs to greater wealth (they see me very up). As I remained jobless and the days stretch to weeks, to months and to years, and I have still not embarked on any great opportunity for them to partake in, the contacts dropped quickly to almost zero. In gatherings such as CNY get-togethers, many were afraid to talk to me and the real reason (I guess) was they're afraid I'm going to borrow money from them!

Yes, it was a very great life experience as I got to know who are my real friends (sadly, only a handful) and even on which blood is really thicker than water (family).

One observation I had was that those from lower income / humbler background are more likely to show genuine care and concern. I had many such personal experience from total strangers (hawkers, cleaners,...) who'd noticed me being jobless and being rather nice to me (some gave me more generous portion of food!). It'd seem that many who are richer are less forgiving of 'society failures' like me. Some of my kids' classmates' parents even put in a lot of effort to deter me from initiating any conversation with them!

I'm really glad to have gone through this life enriching experience even though it was initially very hard for me to accept that I don't really have a lot of real friends plus family members. Now, I try my best to take good care of this small handful of people and share whatever stocks related homework I have with them (they still have to make their own buy/sell decision and take own responsibility) and treat them to sumptious meals whenever I could find the time and money (from G.O.)

(29-05-2012, 01:54 PM)KopiKat Wrote:

(29-05-2012, 01:12 PM)propertyinvestor Wrote:

(29-05-2012, 12:48 PM)Behappyalways Wrote: then you not only lose your 'friends', you lose also your wife and your family will 'spit' at you ^^

(29-05-2012, 12:25 PM)propertyinvestor Wrote:

(28-05-2012, 11:36 AM)corydorus Wrote: Maybe I should play a trick and fake hit S$1M prize and use it to weed out "friends".

Why not do the reverse and pretend to declare bankrupt instead? That is a much more effective way in weeding out the fake friends.

See who is willing to leng you money and provide shelter for you if you are penniless and have no assets.

that is the ULTIMATE TEST. And those who stick by you will be your friends and kin FOR LIFE.

Losing my job during the recession triggered by AFC, 911, SARS,... was a very life enriching experience...

There was the initial flurry of contacts by friends and families to meet up as they showed what I thought was concern but many were in fact mostly keen to know whether I have some lobangs to greater wealth (they see me very up). As I remained jobless and the days stretch to weeks, to months and to years, and I have still not embarked on any great opportunity for them to partake in, the contacts dropped quickly to almost zero. In gatherings such as CNY get-togethers, many were afraid to talk to me and the real reason (I guess) was they're afraid I'm going to borrow money from them!

Yes, it was a very great life experience as I got to know who are my real friends (sadly, only a handful) and even on which blood is really thicker than water (family).

One observation I had was that those from lower income / humbler background are more likely to show genuine care and concern. I had many such personal experience from total strangers (hawkers, cleaners,...) who'd noticed me being jobless and being rather nice to me (some gave me more generous portion of food!). It'd seem that many who are richer are less forgiving of 'society failures' like me. Some of my kids' classmates' parents even put in a lot of effort to deter me from initiating any conversation with them!

I'm really glad to have gone through this life enriching experience even though it was initially very hard for me to accept that I don't really have a lot of real friends plus family members. Now, I try my best to take good care of this small handful of people and share whatever stocks related homework I have with them (they still have to make their own buy/sell decision and take own responsibility) and treat them to sumptious meals whenever I could find the time and money (from G.O.)

Yes in reality, if you find one friend or relative or someone (besides your soul partner) who is willing to stick to you through thick and thin in life (as the clique goes), you are very blessed already. Don't expect to have many.
Cheers!

It happen to me twice. I've seen it happen to my friends when it was their turn to lose their jobs or when they quit.

When I stopped working several times I noticed people stopped coming by, calls to go out on weekends also dropped. I start to analyze why this happen and happen again. Is it because they afraid I will ask them borrow me money? I came to conclusion that it is consider a lifestyle change for them that you stopped working that's why they stopped hanging out with you.

When one has a job and income, there will be people who will want to hang out with you not because you have money but because.

you have job they have job
you have a career they have a career
you have income and can afford a certain lifestye so can they
you have a shared common thing.

When you stop working that's when things slowly start to change. The common thing is lost, there's nothing to talk about. When they meet with you and talk about their office politics they suddenly remember you are not working anymore and probably can't empathise with them.

Initially they still come by but as weeks move into months and you still no job people will ask themselves how come you become like that? You used to be ambitious have a career have a life goal how come you have now changed? Then they start to move on, calls slowly also start to drop.

It's not so bad as these people are maybe army friends or work colleague just normal acquaintance so even if they move on is no big deal but if it is family members who do that can be rather hurtful.

If you want to quit to take a break that's fine but don't be out of work more than 3 months that's my advise. The longer you are out of job the more likely you will fall into depression. Then also slowly you will lose confident in yourself or worse develop psychosis and start talking to yourself.

If you want my advise just take that job first to keep your spirits up and your mind busy.

good luck

Are our forumers' views one sided?
For example, if a friend of the jackpot aunty who had fallen in bad times approached the jackpot aunty for monetary assistance, the friend will also realised "who the real friends are" when he went home empty handed. (Don't get me wrong, I respect the aunty for donating her winnings to charity.) Doesn't the gahmen want you to seek help from your family/relatives before you can get gahmen assistance? Not everyone has the same investing prowess as kopikat (btw, just curious why the whole world seems to know of kopikat's situation)

(29-05-2012, 01:54 PM)KopiKat Wrote: Losing my job during the recession triggered by AFC, 911, SARS,... was a very life enriching experience...

That timing after 911 and SARS, around 2003, marked the end of a nasty bear market and beginning of a very steep bull run that ran all the way to 2007. Together with your investment prowess, it must have been very enriching for you indeed.

Quote: Now, I try my best to take good care of this small handful of people and share whatever stocks related homework I have with them (they still have to make their own buy/sell decision and take own responsibility) and treat them to sumptious meals whenever I could find the time and money (from G.O.)

Forumers here get to read some of your stocks related homework every so often. Without realising that this sharing you do only with a small handful of people that you really cherish. We should not take this honour for granted.

(29-05-2012, 02:49 PM)sgd Wrote: The longer you are out of job the more likely you will fall into depression. Then also slowly you will lose confident in yourself or worse develop psychosis and start talking to yourself.

There're always very strong pressure from friends, family and society to conform to what's considered the norm. If finances is not a huge issue and you have your own plans and directions (can be continuously evolving) to keep you meaningfully occupied, then you should be ok. Till today, I enjoy talking to myself especially since I'm still unable to find anyone else to talk all about stocks...

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(29-05-2012, 03:16 PM)wsreader Wrote: (btw, just curious why the whole world seems to know of kopikat's situation)

Don't under-estimate the power of observation of the hawkers and cleaning workers. Go and try, perhaps just go on leave for a few days and go to the same coffee shop to have your meals (wearing simple non-working clothes + slippers). After that, share with us if anyone noticed you. In my case, my 'whole world' was very very tiny during that time. Everyday, wearing shorts and slippers + my kid, I'd be having my meals at a few different eating joints. After a few weeks, the 'whole world' seems to be aware that I'm jobless. No, I didn't even need to tell the 'whole world', they seem to know. Scary, isn't it...

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(29-05-2012, 03:51 PM)swakoo Wrote: Forumers here get to read some of your stocks related homework every so often. Without realising that this sharing you do only with a small handful of people that you really cherish. We should not take this honour for granted.

Actually, what I post in forum can be very raw data. It's people like you who so kindly pointed out my mistakes (my posts used to contain a lot more errors in the past on REITs) that I get to learn more and at the same time, post any extra findings to share further (so that others can point out more of my mistakes). I believe I'd gained more than I share, so, expect me to continue posting lots of garbage here..

The down side about posting in forum is that every once in a while, you'll have to handle personal attacks. It doesn't happen in this forum as often as there's active moderation. It can be quite scary at CNA and even Wallstraits last time. But, we can always just switch off anytime..

Now a days, it is quite common for a person to be retrenched from work due to modern rapid hire/fire policy of company. Especially if you work in the private manufacturing sector. In fact government's to semi-government's also fired if you are redundant or due to so-called privatization of government services.
Actually in my time 1970+ onwards, we already saw many retrenchment exercises by companies. Even big strong financial institutions did.
That's why i always stress to my son you have to learn to be a passive businessman if you can not be an active businessman.
i had been out of job many times. (Fortunately no sweat for me, really)
i think out of work is not so much unacceptable or a taboo any more.
The trouble is "old habit dies hard"
Of course, some people will still try to avoid you for their own reasons.
Who cares? Definitely not me.